Thursday night I appeared in the “Comedy of Cultures” show at the Sudbury LOL festival. It is the first year of the event but is being run by the folks who have run the film festival there for 19 years. It was a spectacular experience. If only all gigs were run like this, comics would be the happiest people on earth. The people running it were so deferential. They treated us as talent instead of product. A generous spread was laid out backstage. The show itself, held at the Fraser auditorium, drew about 500 people who loved it. Debra DiGiovanni, Ben Mathai, Angelo Tsarouchas, Frank Spadone and myself all killed. We got a standing ovation when we came out for our curtain call. After the show, the organizers took us to a pub for food and drinks which they also paid for. Then we returned to our hotel and talked into the night about the spectacular treatment and warm reception. I know I speak for everybody there when I say thank you Sudbury and the organizers of LOL. This will become one of the gigs comics vie to get.

I went to the ACC and stood by the stage for Russell’s 2nd sold-out show at the ACC. As I approached the venue, a couple of young guys approached. I figured they were scalpers looking to sell seats. They were, in fact, looking to buy tickets. Once inside, I got a bracelet and was led to the area beside the stage where a bunch of other comics were already gathered. Russell was already into his routine. His act works much like Cosby’s. It’s very narrative and personal in style. The jokes come as parts of the stories and it flows very naturally. What i really watched was the audience. I have never seen 15,000 people watching a comic. They loved him; not in the “this guy’s funny” way but in a “he speaks fo0r me” way. It felt more like a Billy graham religious event than a comedy show. The adoration was palpable. They figuratively carried him on their shoulders with their response. He is not an entertainer but a hero to his audience. He takes his responsibility seriously. After a 2 and a quarter hour show (!), he signed autographs and posed for photos for over 2 hours more. A crowd of well-wishers flooded the hallways of the ACC. I got 2 minutes to say hi, tell him it was amazing and get a quick hug. It felt like an audience with the pope, his time is so precious. After that, he was whisked to a private plane to head to Vancouver for his next arena show. Every person he dealt with was treated with respect and kindness. I was incredibly impressed. I couldn’t do it. Not that the mob is after me but I know I wouldn’t have the energy or patience to deal with that level of popularity. It is a job. And Russell does it in a way that only someone who loves the work and the fans can.

Like many comedians, I have a number of problems with LCS. I share the usual issues that people have. A general discomfort with competition in the arts is one. After all, it isn’t sports in which a quantitative measure determines precisely who is superior in a given discipline. In the arts, there are too many factors that determine the value of one’s work. There is also room for many different views and interpretations. Another issue is that it is more reality show than talent contest which means many deserving comics are left out of the mix because finding the most “interesting” personalities is more of an issue than finding the best acts. Imagine if better athletes were cut from sports teams to make room for lesser talents who happen to have more telegenic personalities. The other issue is that, by definition, TV talent shows tend to reward the mainstream over the cutting edge. I think of Steve Shuster’s joke about Star Search as the only place where Quarterflash beats The Rolling Stones.

My issue with LCS above the other types of contest is the way in which contestants are treated. Based on the accounts of friends who attended the audition in Montreal and accounts I’ve read of other cities, I can see the producers are trying to replicate the American Idol model. However, there are some significant differences between the two shows’ contestants. Idol wannabes are a mix of singers and the delusional. The throng that crowds their auditions is made up of a small percentage of legitimate talent and a mass of fame hungry dreamers taking a shot at stardom. LCS contestants are, by and large, working comics. Granted, they may be at varying stages of development but they almost all have some experience. A “singer” goes in and sings any song by anyone. A comic, by definition, writes the material and performs it. That leaves out someone who wants to take a stab at it with no ability. You couldn’t go in and do Bill Cosby’s Noah routine no matter how you interpret it. To treat comedians trying out for LCS like the crazy losers who try out for Idol is a slap in the face. It also has the counter-productive effect of making a lot of top talent refuse to participate because they don’t want to be treated so disrespectfully. I also think of Ant, one of this year’s judges, who has taken on the Simon Cowell role to the nth degree. He is critiquing contestants in the bitchiest fashion. What he is missing is that, because these are working comics, he may well be on the road with some of them after his LCS gig ends (and it will). I would not want to endure the chilly reception he’s going to get from all those he dissed when he encounters them again while gigging.

I am not embittered. After 29 years as a comic, I have developed a thick skin and maintained a positive attitude. I did not try out for LCS so I have no axe to grind. However, comedians endure enough disrespect from the public at large and the general show business community. A show that purports to be about promoting comedians would do better to treat the talent as talent. It would make the entire enterprise at least appear legitimate.

I was funny last night. To me. I was at Boyd’s gig having a good time and being my usual quippy self. I always say that comedian is not so much a job as a personality disorder. I have more jokes I do in real life than in my act. For example, when I go to a restaurant and the waitress asks if she can offer me a drink, I always reply, “Would you stop hitting on me. I came in to relax – be professional.”

So – back to last night. I was on the patio with Tim Nutt and met a new comic. New in the sense that she has recently moved here from

Vancouver. She said, “Can I ask you guys a question? I live right near here…” I cut her off. “Well, maybe Tim’ll go with you. I’m seeing somebody.” Ho ho. She smiled and continued. “I wanted to know if I’d be safe walking home in this area.” I looked her up and down, assessing her attractiveness and then said, “Yeah, you’ll be all right.” I thought it was quick and clever but it probably came across as insulting. Now, this woman doesn’t know me and may have been hurt. Although I never would have said it if I didn’t think she was attractive, it was pretty insensitive.
I tend to be of the philosophy that I’m only rude to my friends. It’s a way of indicating comfort and closeness that I can rib them. This woman was not someone I knew though. She may have taken offence. I hope we meet again so I can apologize and assure her that it was not meant as a personal attack but just the funniest response I could think of at the time. Once I get to know her and she me, I’m sure she’ll take my kidding in stride but, as a relative stranger, she may take it to heart. I hope she doesn’t. I really am not an asshole – just a comedian.