NOW Magazine

Simon Rakoff: Comedy Q&A by Glenn Sumi
Simon Rakoff

Simon Rakoff

A good MC is the unsung hero of the comedy clubs, and Simon Rakoff — who’s been performing since the late 70s — is one of the best. The quick-on-his-feet stand-up always makes it look easy, engaging audiences with his conversational style and dead-on observations. He’s sold jokes to Jay Leno and has appeared on Open Mike With Mike Bullard more than any other comic, but he’s best known these days for his hosting duties at the Laugh Resort. This Saturday, he performs a must-see rare headline set there. See comedy listings, page 164, for details. What’s the main difference between hosting and headlining? The headliner is treated with reverence and awe. Oh, the main difference? $68. You’re good at ad libbing. What does that really mean? I’m too lazy to come up with any new material until I’m actually onstage. What should we do with hecklers? Grind them up and serve them as meatballs at a Just For Laughs gala. If there were a Simon Rakoff pizza, what toppings would be on it? All I know is there would be a bald spot in the middle. Are the playoffs good for comedy clubs? Sure, Leafs fans need cheering up.

Cheapest meal under $5?

Pizza delivered late.

You’re the love child of two celebs — who are they?

Lenny Bruce and Julie Andrews.

Are you going to pay $145 to see Robin Williams?

I wouldn’t take $145 to see Robin Williams.

Patch Adams or Jumanji?

Jumanji, because his life is in danger throughout.

What does Cirque du Soleil mean in English?

“If you could bend like this, you wouldn’t need a girlfriend.”

What does it mean in Yiddish?

“Oy, my back!”

If there were a Simon Rakoff action figure, what would it do?

Mock GI Joe until he cried.