I was funny last night. To me. I was at Boyd’s gig having a good time and being my usual quippy self. I always say that comedian is not so much a job as a personality disorder. I have more jokes I do in real life than in my act. For example, when I go to a restaurant and the waitress asks if she can offer me a drink, I always reply, “Would you stop hitting on me. I came in to relax – be professional.”
So – back to last night. I was on the patio with Tim Nutt and met a new comic. New in the sense that she has recently moved here from
Vancouver. She said, “Can I ask you guys a question? I live right near here…” I cut her off. “Well, maybe Tim’ll go with you. I’m seeing somebody.” Ho ho. She smiled and continued. “I wanted to know if I’d be safe walking home in this area.” I looked her up and down, assessing her attractiveness and then said, “Yeah, you’ll be all right.” I thought it was quick and clever but it probably came across as insulting. Now, this woman doesn’t know me and may have been hurt. Although I never would have said it if I didn’t think she was attractive, it was pretty insensitive.
I tend to be of the philosophy that I’m only rude to my friends. It’s a way of indicating comfort and closeness that I can rib them. This woman was not someone I knew though. She may have taken offence. I hope we meet again so I can apologize and assure her that it was not meant as a personal attack but just the funniest response I could think of at the time. Once I get to know her and she me, I’m sure she’ll take my kidding in stride but, as a relative stranger, she may take it to heart. I hope she doesn’t. I really am not an asshole – just a comedian.